The Oxford Croo - The Final Judgement For Those Breaching the A.S.B.O.
Characters:
Croo/TSGOF
Richard - Current GCSE level student at Langley Park. Knows pi to 101 d.p. Alias Tarquin.
Quentin - The Ringleader of Da Croo. Calm, collected, suave.
Cyril - No. 2 of Croo. Forgery.
Cuthbert - Computer Analyst. Talks only in binary.
Gordon - Translator for Cuthbert. Says nothing but binary translations.
Henry - Manipulator with outstanding lexicon
Siegfried - German native. Switched from fighting with fists to fighting with words.
Alexandra - Created TSGOF as sister to the Croo, Rivalry with Quentin
Zara - Lifelong friend of Alexandra. Role in TSGOF unknown.
Charlotte - Female correspondent to the Croo.
Elizabeth - Newest initiate to TSGOF.
The Rood’s
Gaz – Leader of R.B.Posse216, first kill of Tarquin, friend of Ben
Ben - Offcampus student, friend of Gaz, Grunt/messenger of R.B.Posse216, Second kill of Tarquin, organiser of Rood Grudge Evening Massacres.
Partario - Once member of Croo, defected after compromising Operation Reading Roodboi, nemesis of all Croo members.
Prologue
[Oxford University. Richard has been shown around almost all the buildings of the age-old University. At last he is introduced to the library.]
Tour Guide : And here we have the Library. Categorized into Fiction, Non-fiction, and subcatorgorised as appropriate.
[As the group move around the library, Richard sees a young man walk into the library and stare intently back at him. After a few seconds he moves over to a group huddled around a table and sits. The tour moves on.]
[Int. Dining Hall. As Richard sits eating more food than is particularly necessary, the young man from earlier sits next to him.]
Richard : "Oh, um, hello."
[The young man is tapping randomly into a calculator]
Quentin : "Pop quiz LPBS hotshot. What day of the week is an anagram of an English word?"
Richard : "(confidently) Monday. It can be rearranged to Dynamo."
Quentin : "I'm Quentin."
Richard : "Richard."
Quentin : "Does you want to know something about this place?"
Richard : "What do you mean?"
Quentin : "English Room. 10 minutes"
[Quentin rises and leaves. Ten minutes later Richard finds himself outside the door to the English conference hall. One of Quentin's crowd from earlier stands guard]
Siegfried : "Millionth decimal place of pi?"
Richard : "What? er...1"
[Siegfried opens the door, and Richard enters the room. All the people who were in the library with Quentin are there, talking animatedly. The whole place has the atmosphere of a military bunker.]
Henry : "Yo, wats dis dood doing in 'ere? I fought dat no1 could get in Kwent!"
Partario : "I dnt lke teh lk of im. i tink e's 1 of em"
Quentin : "SILENCE!!! Brothers, one more has been added to our brotherhood!"
Cuthbert : "0101011101101000011000010111010000100000011
000010111001001100101001000000
11110010110111101110101001000000111010001100001011011
0001101011011010010110111001100
11100100000011000010110001001101111011101010111010000
1000000101000101110101011001010110
11100111010001101001011011100011111100100000010101000
1101000011001010111100100100000011
10111011011110110111000100111011101000010000001110111
01100001011010010111010000100000011
10111011010000110100101101100011001010010000001110111
011001010010000001110000011011110111
01000111010001100101011100100010000001100001011000100
110111101110101011101000010000001110010011001010110001
101110010011101010110100101110100011010010110111001100111001000000110
11010110010101101101011000100110010101110010011100110
010111000100000010010000110000101110
01100100000011010000110010100100000011000100110010101
10010101101110001000000110100101101110011010010111010
00110100101100001011101000110010101100100001111110010
000001010100011000010110101101100101
01101110001000000111010001101000011001010010000001101
111011000010111010001101000001111110000110100001010"
Gordon : "What are you talking about Quentin? They won't wait while we potter about recruiting members. Has he been initiated? Taken the oath?"
Quentin : "Patience brothers! Partario, inform TSGOF of the news."
Richard : "Um, hate to be an nuisance, but, where the hell am I?"
Cuthbert : "0100011001001111010101010100110000100000010011000100000101
0011100100011101010101010000010100011101000101001000010010000100100001"
Gordon : "Fou-"
Quentin : "I know what he said. Richard, we do owe you an explanation."
Cyril : "1 |)0|\|'7 |_1|<3 73|-| |_00|< 0|= |-|1|\/|. \/\/|-|'/ 15 |-|3 |-|3R3 ???" (I dont like th look of him. Why is he here?)
Quentin : "CREW!! SILENCE!! Brother Richard. This is the absurdly titled: Oxfard Crew"
Partario : "the name woz my idea :D"
Siegfried : "How did that get a majority?"
Partario : "STFU u idiot. u smell nd i tink dat u r wiv teh nme in dis"
Quentin : "(ignoring others) We are a collective group of upperclass Oxford University students. The dialects and speech patterns that are synonymous with the enemy derive from our need to blend in with them in society."
Richard : "Um...the enemy?"
(At this the others turn away from Richard and busy themselves.)
Quentin : (hesitantly) "...the ones you call...roodbois...NEDs, townies pikeys, call them what you will. IN the end it matters not. They have taken over society and replaced our norm with theres. We seek out those who have not succumbed to a life of nonconformist conformity. That is why we approached you. We have made it our goal to rid the world of this scourge. BY ANY MEANS NESSECARY."
-Chapter 1 : Initiates-
[In English Hall 1]
Quentin : "Cyril, my number two. His main task is forging library cards that can't be traced to us. If a roodboi were to discover us as users of the library our whole operation would be in jeapordy. Cuthbert, who i'm sure you noticed speaks only in binary when at work, and his translator, Gordon. They mainly work as logistics teams and webmasters, organising the assassinations."
Richard : "A-assassinations?"
Quentin : "You will learn in time. Henry, he has a sister in our female chapter, the TSGOF. He himself has an unparalled way with words. He mainly works as interpreter, linguist or sometimes just helps us talk our way out of a tough spot with the enemy. Siegfried, our doorman. German, so you two should get on famously. We know you were going to take it at A-level. Sieg usually handles the insults, the flames and the tough talk. Wouldn't hurt a feather though. Now, Partario probably couldn't hurt a feather. Weak, but excellent at stealing and that last kill on the Evening Massacre. Caruthers doesn't do much actively. a chauffeur mainly, but also be counted on to give advice to anyone. Great person. Now, that just leaves you.
Richard : "Me? What do you mean?"
Quentin : "Between you and me, we've lost too many frontline workers. Our assassin guild is all but destroyed, and our last major logistics advisor, Elizabeth was knifed in the street, so she moved to the TSGOF. That's why I asked you t-"
Richard : "Wait a second? KNIFED? As in -"
Quentin : "- sharp object, dead, floor, blood yes. Oh get that look off your face all will be explained! Now, have a walk around, familiarise yourself with the place. Get back here at 5, after end of sessions."
Richard : "Whoa, wait, what about Langley? My parents? David, Rob, Baz, Dickybod? Well, not so much DickyBod, he's quite an annoyance really..."
Quentin : "Don't worry. Everyone has been informed of your position. And as for your school, why do you think you were given a letter to come here in the first place?"
Richard : "Assumed it was because i was so great! (starts humming)"
Quentin : "Pfft, hardly. (humming stops) We'd known that you had the requisites to get in here nailed. We could wait that that long though, so, after a few strings being pulled with admin, we got you in here. Like I said, go. Have a walk. But get back here by 5."
[Richard stands, and walks past everyone to leave. He decides to go to the library. On his way:]
???? : "Hey, you!"
Richard : "Wha?"
????2 : "Where doez 1 fink 1 iz goin'?"
Richard : "Um, the library?"
???? : "Nah, m8, don't tink so"
[As the pair of rood's advance on Richard, he grabs the nearest object he can - a pringle top with a star drawn on it in black marker. The pair freeze...]
????2 : "GAZ THE NEWSPAPER!!!"
['Gaz' takes a rolled up newspaper, taped together with the word 'sword ov def' written on it, and brandishes it at Richard. After a moment of quiet Richard flings the pringle top. It strikes Gaz on the neck, and he falls lifeless to the floor. IN shock and horror, the other runs.]
Richard : "Hey, um, Gaz, you ok?"
Gaz : "(whispered) Yer course, go on move it!"
Richard : "Um.....ok..."
[Richard runs back to the English Hall, and is greeted by Quentin standing at a make-shift pulpit. The others recline on rows of bean bags]
Quentin : "Behold, Brother Richard! Welcome to the Oxfard Croo; Tarquin!!!"
-Chapter 2 : Into the Breach-
[Richard wakes in his dorm on-campus, and hastily checks under his bed.]
Richard : "Man, i'm getting paranoid..."
[Sitting at a rudimentary oakwood desk, he flicks on his laptop. The website is still as he left it last night, the weapons cache page at still glowing brightly from the screen. Flicking down he finds what he was looking for. A newspaper and a pringle-top. He recalls the 'fight' he had had with Gaz outside of the library, thankful he had managed to register as an assassin before his 'foe' could find out otherwise. As he sat casually glancing over his Neopets account, his taskbar blinks with the news he has a new email from 'Kwent_3928']
Quentin : "(via email) Hello Tarquin, it's Quentin. Hope you're awake, and I hope you're at your laptop. How's it working out? We've provided you with the minimum standard specs the rest of 'Da Croo' use, but if you need anything tweaked you can always email either myself or Cuthbert. Don't worry, he still types in English, but try not to enter a voice conversation. Took him ten minutes to say hello. Anyway, like I said, i hope you get this before 9, because we're going to need your help. I won't say anymore, in case Jack's reading this too, but meet in the normal location at 9:20am. See you there. Oh, and you will need your weapons. We'll provide you with the RB's when you get here. Bring gloves. Quentin"
Richard : "(Typing) Sure, no problem. See you in an hour"
[Having shut his laptop down, Richard crosses to his chest of drawers, taking out a pair of black leather gloves that cover the whole of the hand and the wrist. He takes out a wooden rubberband gun and stuffs it in his jacket, before opening his door. He grabs the door handle on the other side and pulls it shut.]
Richard : "Ah, Vaseline on the doorhandle. Nice try Gaz..."
[Wiping his glove on the door, he walks around for a while before heading to the English Hall. As he walks down the corridor, he sees the reflection of someone following him, with his hand hidden in his jacket.]
Richard : "Ah hell... i can't lead him to da croo... Quentin won't mind if im a little late..."
[He turns]
Richard : "You seem to be following me."
????2 : "Um, yeh, well like Gazza waz like 'fllow im and spark im innit' nd im like nah m8, so he like, tries wif the vasaline on your crib, but den you don't get it so i 'as to follow you innit...."
Richard : "So do you have a name?"
Ben : "im ben innit"
Richard : "Evidently. Well? Telling someone your going to assassinate them isn't the most subtle way of stalking them."
[Thinking for a moment, Ben's face falls...]
Ben : "Oh yeh... damn."
[In the same instant, Ben and Richard both draw their weapons. Ben sports a low power water pistol, but he is too far out of range. While he runs at Richard, spraying water in an attempt to get a lucky hit, Richard shoots two rubber bands at Ben, the first sailing over his head, the second catching him in the arm.]
Richard : "That's a hit!"
Ben : "aw wtf, nah dat is well unfair i didnt do nuttin"
Richard : "Evidently..."
[Walking away, he leaves, walking down different corridors in an attempt to get his bearings. As he walkes past Romanian Studies 5 he sees Quentin inside. Curiosity getting the better of him, Richard crouches by the door, ear pressed against the wood.]
Quentin : "... that can be expected. I fail to see your concern Charlotte"
Charlotte : "Hey, i'm only going by what Alexandra told me. Truth is we've had Elizabeth scoping that area for weeks, and its a roodboi hotspot. They're clamping down on literacy once and for all. They've got autobiographies in the library now for Gods sake..."
Quentin : "We can deal with the level of literacy later. For the moment, we need that book. And if that means a noted assassination then I can handle that. But we need that book."
Charlotte : "Ok. but provoke an Evening Massacre, and Alex can't help you"
Quentin : "Duly noted. I'll see you at Latin"
[Richard darts down the corridor, and runs to the meeting spot. He almost runs headlong into Quentin coming out of the other corridor]
Quentin : "Hi Tarquin. Noone's here yet, you're a little early aren't you?"
Richard : "I needed to talk to Cuthbert. Register a hit. Gaz's friend. Met him on the way."
Quentin : "Sure. Come one on, you can use the terminal in the corner"
[They enter the English hall, Quentin taking his place at a desk in the corner, shuffling books around, before propping 'The Colour of Magic' up on the wall and beginning to read. Richard takes his laptop out of his bag and plugs it into the phoneline in the corner. After ten minutes of descriptive writing skills he posts news of his kill in the halls outside the room he currently sits in. By the time he has unplugged the laptop and taken a seat, the rest of 'Da Croo' have arrived.]
Partario : "ere kwent i gt yr email. whts ths all abt?"
Quentin : "Ok, we're hitting the library again."
Seigfried : "I thought all library op's were a no-no until roodboi presence diminished. I went to return Alan Shearer's Autobiography for a friend and was almost strip searched."
Quentin : "We have no choice. An off-campus contact needs the book, but he's known by the enemy, and his presence would lead to a nasty confrontation. So, we need to hit it. The basic plan runs down like this. All of us take usual watch points, with the exception of Partario and Tarquin. Partario feigns an assassination attempt, hopefully catching the attention of the Loiterers. Then if they follow him, the watchers of the group will draw their fire from Partario, allowing the distraction required to get Tarquin into the library to get the book. He will withdraw, and those not engaging the enemy will escort him back. Try not to make it too obvious to any of the enemy that we've gone against their rules of conformity. We meet back here, and we hopefully won't see any of our names on the next update of the Assassin's Guild. Any questions?"
Richard : "What's the book?"
Quentin : "It's a Level 1 book."
Richard : "Lvl 1?"
Seigfried : "The roodboi's evaluate all items in the school with levels. Depending on that level, they evaluate the users alignment to their cause. Level 90-100 items are common items, food and the like. Nothing that will arouse suspiscion. 75-90 are items that are luxury items, that not all but some have, alcohol, cigarettes usw. 30-74 items are objects that will couse some suspiscion, library cards, reading glasses, books that aren't anything to do with sports and the like. Then 1-29, the items that instantly blow our cover. This book is one of them."
Quentin : "And the book is 'The Works of Seamus Heaney'. Poetry found in your possession will get you an instant passage to permanent observation. Once that happens, you will never be free of them."
Richard : "Lets try not to get caught then..."
-Operation 1 : Reading Roodboi-
[Outside the library, Quentin crouches at the corner of one of the surrounding hallways. A group of ten rood's loiter by the entrance, surreptitiously casing out all students who enter and exit the library, in some cases, even stopping those with books.]
Quentin : "Ten... Partario's quick though, he can outrun them..."
Richard : "When's he moving?"
Quentin : "(Checking watch) ....34 seconds... Cuthbert, give him the card."
Cuthbert : "010010000110010101110010011001010010110000
1000000101100101101111011101010010000001100111011011
1100100000011000100111100100100000011101000110100001
1001010010000001101110011000010110110101100101001000
0001001010011011110110100001101110001000000100110101
100001011000110100100001100101011011100111001001111001"
Henry : "Here, you go by the name John MacHenry"
Richard : "John MacHenry? Classy..."
Quentin : "Shhhh there he is..."
[As the three watch, Partario steps into the corner, causing all the roods to look his way. Partario grins, and slides an alarm clock down the hall.]
Rood : "AARG MOVE MOVE MOVE"
Rood2 : "Gt tht lttle SOB"
[as one, 9 of the roods run out of sight after the fleeing Partario. The 1 remaining rood takes the alarm clock and turns the alarm off, only to be hit by a massive jet of water.]
Seigfried : "Best go and get dried off Bennyboy"
Ben : "aw m8 my freds, wtf iz u doin?"
[Ben leaves]
Quentin : "Tarquin, go. There'll be more inside, but for now consider yourself clear, try not to be seen..."
[Richard stands, looks round both corners, and creeps into the library. Instantly he realises that not being seen will be difficult. At almost every table a group of 4 or 5 roodbois sit looking at a magazine, occasionally looking at the patrons of the library. At one table, 4 women sit. Richard recognises 1 as the person Quentin was talking to before the meeting earlier in the day.]
Richard : "TSGOF..."
[One looks his way, and beckons him over]
Alexandra : "Hey, your that kid Quentin sent to look for the book then?"
Zara : "Well your out of luck kiddo. All copies of said book have been taken out. We managed to get a copy though, and its under my name, so don't send it back overdue will you"
[Zara takes out of her bag a copy of the book, and hands it to Richard]
Richard : "Thanks"
Alexandra : "Tell Quentin to see me later. I've found something the Croo might profit from knowing"
Richard : "...ok..(?)"
[Richard turns to leave, but is pushed out of the way of the door by two rood's running out before him, RBG's drawn. Richard pulls his own out and steps out of the door, the book in his hand taking a rubber band for him.]
Quentin : "TARQUIN, GET BACK TO THE HALL!"
Richard : "What's going on?"
Quentin : "They came back and started shooting. For sport or premeditated, i dunno. MOVE!!!"
[Slipping on the polished floor (causing a rubber band to sail through where his head had been) Richard ran back to the hall, put the book on the table and sat, waiting. One by one the croo returned to the hall.]
Quentin : "Anyone get hit?"
Cuthbert : "0100111101101110011001010010000001110100
01101111001000000111010001101000011001
01001000000110110001100101011001110010
11100010111000101110"
Henry : "He took one to the leg"
Quentin : "That all?"
[Nods all around]
Quentin : "Tarquin, log in as Cuth_01100010011001010111001001110100, and register him as DOA."
[With the tapping of keys, the site is updated to show Cuthbert's 'death']
Quentin : "Well, I think that went as well as could be expected."
Siegfried : "Yeh, I never thought Partyboy could do something right"
Richard : "Um...where is Partario?"
[As the croo suddenly look shocked at the empty seat, a knock at the door sends shivers down Richard's spine]
Gaz : "ROODBOIS!! OPEN UP!!!"
-Chapter 3 : Compromise Class-
[In seconds, the entire croo bolt for Quentin's office. Siegfried calmly walks to the door.]
Siegfried : "Who is it?"
Gaz : "ROOD's OPEN THIS DOOR YOU BUNCH OF UNSAFE HOMIES!!"
Quentin : "Tarquin, get in the office. If i see Partario his text speaking arse won’t see another Physics lecture..."
[The door is opened a crack, immediately a massive jet of water rushes past Richard, who feels the coolness in the air as the water sails into the server of the Croo's computers]
Siegfried "Quentin, get them out of here!"
[As Richard dives into the office, Quentin slams the door, a second blast of water splashing into the frosted glass of the door. He ushers them out of a backdoor, where they split up. Richard runs back to his dorm, hoping to get an email out to TSGOF about the compromise of security.]
Partario : "Hi tark."
Richard : "What are you doing here?"
Partario : "lol i waz opin 2 c 1 of u lot cos i av to gve you dis."
[Partario hands Richard a card. Written on one side is "WE IZ GONNA OWN YOUR NOOB ASSES IN AN EVENIN' MASSACAR INNIT 730 - LATE BE DARE AND DIE (Light lunch and buffet provided)"]
Richard : "Get out of here traitor."
[Partario smirks and walks off.]
[In his dorm, Richard conducts his routine check for bombs and contact poison, before clicking the screensaver off of his laptop. The web still functions, as does his MSN and Email accounts. He signs on to his MSN account, and sees two contacts online : DickyBod http://dickybod.blogspot.com, and Quentin@htmlcroo.com. He double-clicks Quentin's name, and begins to type.]
Richard : "Heard of this Evening Massacre?"
Quentin : "Hold on, let me add someone..."
Richard : "10-4"
I HATE DA CROO has been added to the conversation
Alexandra : "Hi ho Tarkers :D"
Richard : "Hi. What’s happening regarding the Massacre"
Alexandra : "It's already been officially listed on the site as a Grudge Match, so no outside help can be listed in. TSGOF can still participate, since we're a registered sister wing of your guild, but that means the Rood's can do the same"
Richard : "Meaning...?"
Quentin : "While we could draft the help of TSGOF, that would allow the Rood's to utilise their brother and sister guilds, and we'd be outnumbered. The best odds we could get is if we went it alone."
Richard : "Hm... How's the English room?"
Quentin : "Dry, and the waterproofing of the server and computers helped stop any damage to our communications. Guys i must be off, i have a Physics lecture in 10"
Richard : "10-4"
Alexandra : "Bye de bye"
Quentin : "Oh, Tarquin, get to the room when you can, Cuthbert may have something very useful for you."
Alexandra : "Ok, GOODBYE NOW!!!"
Quentin@htmlcroo.com has left the conversation
Alexandra : "Don't go"
Richard : "Why, Cuthbert’s not that bad, unless you let him talk..."
Alexandra : "No, you primitive male, to the Massacre!"
Richard : "What? Why?"
Alexandra : "Have you ever seen the write-ups of any rood's guild fight to date? They're dangerous, and I don't think Quentin knows it."
Richard : "I can't back out now. Watch the site."
-OFFLINE-
-T-B-C-
Croo/TSGOF
Richard - Current GCSE level student at Langley Park. Knows pi to 101 d.p. Alias Tarquin.
Quentin - The Ringleader of Da Croo. Calm, collected, suave.
Cyril - No. 2 of Croo. Forgery.
Cuthbert - Computer Analyst. Talks only in binary.
Gordon - Translator for Cuthbert. Says nothing but binary translations.
Henry - Manipulator with outstanding lexicon
Siegfried - German native. Switched from fighting with fists to fighting with words.
Alexandra - Created TSGOF as sister to the Croo, Rivalry with Quentin
Zara - Lifelong friend of Alexandra. Role in TSGOF unknown.
Charlotte - Female correspondent to the Croo.
Elizabeth - Newest initiate to TSGOF.
The Rood’s
Gaz – Leader of R.B.Posse216, first kill of Tarquin, friend of Ben
Ben - Offcampus student, friend of Gaz, Grunt/messenger of R.B.Posse216, Second kill of Tarquin, organiser of Rood Grudge Evening Massacres.
Partario - Once member of Croo, defected after compromising Operation Reading Roodboi, nemesis of all Croo members.
Prologue
[Oxford University. Richard has been shown around almost all the buildings of the age-old University. At last he is introduced to the library.]
Tour Guide : And here we have the Library. Categorized into Fiction, Non-fiction, and subcatorgorised as appropriate.
[As the group move around the library, Richard sees a young man walk into the library and stare intently back at him. After a few seconds he moves over to a group huddled around a table and sits. The tour moves on.]
[Int. Dining Hall. As Richard sits eating more food than is particularly necessary, the young man from earlier sits next to him.]
Richard : "Oh, um, hello."
[The young man is tapping randomly into a calculator]
Quentin : "Pop quiz LPBS hotshot. What day of the week is an anagram of an English word?"
Richard : "(confidently) Monday. It can be rearranged to Dynamo."
Quentin : "I'm Quentin."
Richard : "Richard."
Quentin : "Does you want to know something about this place?"
Richard : "What do you mean?"
Quentin : "English Room. 10 minutes"
[Quentin rises and leaves. Ten minutes later Richard finds himself outside the door to the English conference hall. One of Quentin's crowd from earlier stands guard]
Siegfried : "Millionth decimal place of pi?"
Richard : "What? er...1"
[Siegfried opens the door, and Richard enters the room. All the people who were in the library with Quentin are there, talking animatedly. The whole place has the atmosphere of a military bunker.]
Henry : "Yo, wats dis dood doing in 'ere? I fought dat no1 could get in Kwent!"
Partario : "I dnt lke teh lk of im. i tink e's 1 of em"
Quentin : "SILENCE!!! Brothers, one more has been added to our brotherhood!"
Cuthbert : "0101011101101000011000010111010000100000011
000010111001001100101001000000
11110010110111101110101001000000111010001100001011011
0001101011011010010110111001100
11100100000011000010110001001101111011101010111010000
1000000101000101110101011001010110
11100111010001101001011011100011111100100000010101000
1101000011001010111100100100000011
10111011011110110111000100111011101000010000001110111
01100001011010010111010000100000011
10111011010000110100101101100011001010010000001110111
011001010010000001110000011011110111
01000111010001100101011100100010000001100001011000100
110111101110101011101000010000001110010011001010110001
101110010011101010110100101110100011010010110111001100111001000000110
11010110010101101101011000100110010101110010011100110
010111000100000010010000110000101110
01100100000011010000110010100100000011000100110010101
10010101101110001000000110100101101110011010010111010
00110100101100001011101000110010101100100001111110010
000001010100011000010110101101100101
01101110001000000111010001101000011001010010000001101
111011000010111010001101000001111110000110100001010"
Gordon : "What are you talking about Quentin? They won't wait while we potter about recruiting members. Has he been initiated? Taken the oath?"
Quentin : "Patience brothers! Partario, inform TSGOF of the news."
Richard : "Um, hate to be an nuisance, but, where the hell am I?"
Cuthbert : "0100011001001111010101010100110000100000010011000100000101
0011100100011101010101010000010100011101000101001000010010000100100001"
Gordon : "Fou-"
Quentin : "I know what he said. Richard, we do owe you an explanation."
Cyril : "1 |)0|\|'7 |_1|<3 73|-| |_00|< 0|= |-|1|\/|. \/\/|-|'/ 15 |-|3 |-|3R3 ???" (I dont like th look of him. Why is he here?)
Quentin : "CREW!! SILENCE!! Brother Richard. This is the absurdly titled: Oxfard Crew"
Partario : "the name woz my idea :D"
Siegfried : "How did that get a majority?"
Partario : "STFU u idiot. u smell nd i tink dat u r wiv teh nme in dis"
Quentin : "(ignoring others) We are a collective group of upperclass Oxford University students. The dialects and speech patterns that are synonymous with the enemy derive from our need to blend in with them in society."
Richard : "Um...the enemy?"
(At this the others turn away from Richard and busy themselves.)
Quentin : (hesitantly) "...the ones you call...roodbois...NEDs, townies pikeys, call them what you will. IN the end it matters not. They have taken over society and replaced our norm with theres. We seek out those who have not succumbed to a life of nonconformist conformity. That is why we approached you. We have made it our goal to rid the world of this scourge. BY ANY MEANS NESSECARY."
-Chapter 1 : Initiates-
[In English Hall 1]
Quentin : "Cyril, my number two. His main task is forging library cards that can't be traced to us. If a roodboi were to discover us as users of the library our whole operation would be in jeapordy. Cuthbert, who i'm sure you noticed speaks only in binary when at work, and his translator, Gordon. They mainly work as logistics teams and webmasters, organising the assassinations."
Richard : "A-assassinations?"
Quentin : "You will learn in time. Henry, he has a sister in our female chapter, the TSGOF. He himself has an unparalled way with words. He mainly works as interpreter, linguist or sometimes just helps us talk our way out of a tough spot with the enemy. Siegfried, our doorman. German, so you two should get on famously. We know you were going to take it at A-level. Sieg usually handles the insults, the flames and the tough talk. Wouldn't hurt a feather though. Now, Partario probably couldn't hurt a feather. Weak, but excellent at stealing and that last kill on the Evening Massacre. Caruthers doesn't do much actively. a chauffeur mainly, but also be counted on to give advice to anyone. Great person. Now, that just leaves you.
Richard : "Me? What do you mean?"
Quentin : "Between you and me, we've lost too many frontline workers. Our assassin guild is all but destroyed, and our last major logistics advisor, Elizabeth was knifed in the street, so she moved to the TSGOF. That's why I asked you t-"
Richard : "Wait a second? KNIFED? As in -"
Quentin : "- sharp object, dead, floor, blood yes. Oh get that look off your face all will be explained! Now, have a walk around, familiarise yourself with the place. Get back here at 5, after end of sessions."
Richard : "Whoa, wait, what about Langley? My parents? David, Rob, Baz, Dickybod? Well, not so much DickyBod, he's quite an annoyance really..."
Quentin : "Don't worry. Everyone has been informed of your position. And as for your school, why do you think you were given a letter to come here in the first place?"
Richard : "Assumed it was because i was so great! (starts humming)"
Quentin : "Pfft, hardly. (humming stops) We'd known that you had the requisites to get in here nailed. We could wait that that long though, so, after a few strings being pulled with admin, we got you in here. Like I said, go. Have a walk. But get back here by 5."
[Richard stands, and walks past everyone to leave. He decides to go to the library. On his way:]
???? : "Hey, you!"
Richard : "Wha?"
????2 : "Where doez 1 fink 1 iz goin'?"
Richard : "Um, the library?"
???? : "Nah, m8, don't tink so"
[As the pair of rood's advance on Richard, he grabs the nearest object he can - a pringle top with a star drawn on it in black marker. The pair freeze...]
????2 : "GAZ THE NEWSPAPER!!!"
['Gaz' takes a rolled up newspaper, taped together with the word 'sword ov def' written on it, and brandishes it at Richard. After a moment of quiet Richard flings the pringle top. It strikes Gaz on the neck, and he falls lifeless to the floor. IN shock and horror, the other runs.]
Richard : "Hey, um, Gaz, you ok?"
Gaz : "(whispered) Yer course, go on move it!"
Richard : "Um.....ok..."
[Richard runs back to the English Hall, and is greeted by Quentin standing at a make-shift pulpit. The others recline on rows of bean bags]
Quentin : "Behold, Brother Richard! Welcome to the Oxfard Croo; Tarquin!!!"
-Chapter 2 : Into the Breach-
[Richard wakes in his dorm on-campus, and hastily checks under his bed.]
Richard : "Man, i'm getting paranoid..."
[Sitting at a rudimentary oakwood desk, he flicks on his laptop. The website is still as he left it last night, the weapons cache page at still glowing brightly from the screen. Flicking down he finds what he was looking for. A newspaper and a pringle-top. He recalls the 'fight' he had had with Gaz outside of the library, thankful he had managed to register as an assassin before his 'foe' could find out otherwise. As he sat casually glancing over his Neopets account, his taskbar blinks with the news he has a new email from 'Kwent_3928']
Quentin : "(via email) Hello Tarquin, it's Quentin. Hope you're awake, and I hope you're at your laptop. How's it working out? We've provided you with the minimum standard specs the rest of 'Da Croo' use, but if you need anything tweaked you can always email either myself or Cuthbert. Don't worry, he still types in English, but try not to enter a voice conversation. Took him ten minutes to say hello. Anyway, like I said, i hope you get this before 9, because we're going to need your help. I won't say anymore, in case Jack's reading this too, but meet in the normal location at 9:20am. See you there. Oh, and you will need your weapons. We'll provide you with the RB's when you get here. Bring gloves. Quentin"
Richard : "(Typing) Sure, no problem. See you in an hour"
[Having shut his laptop down, Richard crosses to his chest of drawers, taking out a pair of black leather gloves that cover the whole of the hand and the wrist. He takes out a wooden rubberband gun and stuffs it in his jacket, before opening his door. He grabs the door handle on the other side and pulls it shut.]
Richard : "Ah, Vaseline on the doorhandle. Nice try Gaz..."
[Wiping his glove on the door, he walks around for a while before heading to the English Hall. As he walks down the corridor, he sees the reflection of someone following him, with his hand hidden in his jacket.]
Richard : "Ah hell... i can't lead him to da croo... Quentin won't mind if im a little late..."
[He turns]
Richard : "You seem to be following me."
????2 : "Um, yeh, well like Gazza waz like 'fllow im and spark im innit' nd im like nah m8, so he like, tries wif the vasaline on your crib, but den you don't get it so i 'as to follow you innit...."
Richard : "So do you have a name?"
Ben : "im ben innit"
Richard : "Evidently. Well? Telling someone your going to assassinate them isn't the most subtle way of stalking them."
[Thinking for a moment, Ben's face falls...]
Ben : "Oh yeh... damn."
[In the same instant, Ben and Richard both draw their weapons. Ben sports a low power water pistol, but he is too far out of range. While he runs at Richard, spraying water in an attempt to get a lucky hit, Richard shoots two rubber bands at Ben, the first sailing over his head, the second catching him in the arm.]
Richard : "That's a hit!"
Ben : "aw wtf, nah dat is well unfair i didnt do nuttin"
Richard : "Evidently..."
[Walking away, he leaves, walking down different corridors in an attempt to get his bearings. As he walkes past Romanian Studies 5 he sees Quentin inside. Curiosity getting the better of him, Richard crouches by the door, ear pressed against the wood.]
Quentin : "... that can be expected. I fail to see your concern Charlotte"
Charlotte : "Hey, i'm only going by what Alexandra told me. Truth is we've had Elizabeth scoping that area for weeks, and its a roodboi hotspot. They're clamping down on literacy once and for all. They've got autobiographies in the library now for Gods sake..."
Quentin : "We can deal with the level of literacy later. For the moment, we need that book. And if that means a noted assassination then I can handle that. But we need that book."
Charlotte : "Ok. but provoke an Evening Massacre, and Alex can't help you"
Quentin : "Duly noted. I'll see you at Latin"
[Richard darts down the corridor, and runs to the meeting spot. He almost runs headlong into Quentin coming out of the other corridor]
Quentin : "Hi Tarquin. Noone's here yet, you're a little early aren't you?"
Richard : "I needed to talk to Cuthbert. Register a hit. Gaz's friend. Met him on the way."
Quentin : "Sure. Come one on, you can use the terminal in the corner"
[They enter the English hall, Quentin taking his place at a desk in the corner, shuffling books around, before propping 'The Colour of Magic' up on the wall and beginning to read. Richard takes his laptop out of his bag and plugs it into the phoneline in the corner. After ten minutes of descriptive writing skills he posts news of his kill in the halls outside the room he currently sits in. By the time he has unplugged the laptop and taken a seat, the rest of 'Da Croo' have arrived.]
Partario : "ere kwent i gt yr email. whts ths all abt?"
Quentin : "Ok, we're hitting the library again."
Seigfried : "I thought all library op's were a no-no until roodboi presence diminished. I went to return Alan Shearer's Autobiography for a friend and was almost strip searched."
Quentin : "We have no choice. An off-campus contact needs the book, but he's known by the enemy, and his presence would lead to a nasty confrontation. So, we need to hit it. The basic plan runs down like this. All of us take usual watch points, with the exception of Partario and Tarquin. Partario feigns an assassination attempt, hopefully catching the attention of the Loiterers. Then if they follow him, the watchers of the group will draw their fire from Partario, allowing the distraction required to get Tarquin into the library to get the book. He will withdraw, and those not engaging the enemy will escort him back. Try not to make it too obvious to any of the enemy that we've gone against their rules of conformity. We meet back here, and we hopefully won't see any of our names on the next update of the Assassin's Guild. Any questions?"
Richard : "What's the book?"
Quentin : "It's a Level 1 book."
Richard : "Lvl 1?"
Seigfried : "The roodboi's evaluate all items in the school with levels. Depending on that level, they evaluate the users alignment to their cause. Level 90-100 items are common items, food and the like. Nothing that will arouse suspiscion. 75-90 are items that are luxury items, that not all but some have, alcohol, cigarettes usw. 30-74 items are objects that will couse some suspiscion, library cards, reading glasses, books that aren't anything to do with sports and the like. Then 1-29, the items that instantly blow our cover. This book is one of them."
Quentin : "And the book is 'The Works of Seamus Heaney'. Poetry found in your possession will get you an instant passage to permanent observation. Once that happens, you will never be free of them."
Richard : "Lets try not to get caught then..."
-Operation 1 : Reading Roodboi-
[Outside the library, Quentin crouches at the corner of one of the surrounding hallways. A group of ten rood's loiter by the entrance, surreptitiously casing out all students who enter and exit the library, in some cases, even stopping those with books.]
Quentin : "Ten... Partario's quick though, he can outrun them..."
Richard : "When's he moving?"
Quentin : "(Checking watch) ....34 seconds... Cuthbert, give him the card."
Cuthbert : "010010000110010101110010011001010010110000
1000000101100101101111011101010010000001100111011011
1100100000011000100111100100100000011101000110100001
1001010010000001101110011000010110110101100101001000
0001001010011011110110100001101110001000000100110101
100001011000110100100001100101011011100111001001111001"
Henry : "Here, you go by the name John MacHenry"
Richard : "John MacHenry? Classy..."
Quentin : "Shhhh there he is..."
[As the three watch, Partario steps into the corner, causing all the roods to look his way. Partario grins, and slides an alarm clock down the hall.]
Rood : "AARG MOVE MOVE MOVE"
Rood2 : "Gt tht lttle SOB"
[as one, 9 of the roods run out of sight after the fleeing Partario. The 1 remaining rood takes the alarm clock and turns the alarm off, only to be hit by a massive jet of water.]
Seigfried : "Best go and get dried off Bennyboy"
Ben : "aw m8 my freds, wtf iz u doin?"
[Ben leaves]
Quentin : "Tarquin, go. There'll be more inside, but for now consider yourself clear, try not to be seen..."
[Richard stands, looks round both corners, and creeps into the library. Instantly he realises that not being seen will be difficult. At almost every table a group of 4 or 5 roodbois sit looking at a magazine, occasionally looking at the patrons of the library. At one table, 4 women sit. Richard recognises 1 as the person Quentin was talking to before the meeting earlier in the day.]
Richard : "TSGOF..."
[One looks his way, and beckons him over]
Alexandra : "Hey, your that kid Quentin sent to look for the book then?"
Zara : "Well your out of luck kiddo. All copies of said book have been taken out. We managed to get a copy though, and its under my name, so don't send it back overdue will you"
[Zara takes out of her bag a copy of the book, and hands it to Richard]
Richard : "Thanks"
Alexandra : "Tell Quentin to see me later. I've found something the Croo might profit from knowing"
Richard : "...ok..(?)"
[Richard turns to leave, but is pushed out of the way of the door by two rood's running out before him, RBG's drawn. Richard pulls his own out and steps out of the door, the book in his hand taking a rubber band for him.]
Quentin : "TARQUIN, GET BACK TO THE HALL!"
Richard : "What's going on?"
Quentin : "They came back and started shooting. For sport or premeditated, i dunno. MOVE!!!"
[Slipping on the polished floor (causing a rubber band to sail through where his head had been) Richard ran back to the hall, put the book on the table and sat, waiting. One by one the croo returned to the hall.]
Quentin : "Anyone get hit?"
Cuthbert : "0100111101101110011001010010000001110100
01101111001000000111010001101000011001
01001000000110110001100101011001110010
11100010111000101110"
Henry : "He took one to the leg"
Quentin : "That all?"
[Nods all around]
Quentin : "Tarquin, log in as Cuth_01100010011001010111001001110100, and register him as DOA."
[With the tapping of keys, the site is updated to show Cuthbert's 'death']
Quentin : "Well, I think that went as well as could be expected."
Siegfried : "Yeh, I never thought Partyboy could do something right"
Richard : "Um...where is Partario?"
[As the croo suddenly look shocked at the empty seat, a knock at the door sends shivers down Richard's spine]
Gaz : "ROODBOIS!! OPEN UP!!!"
-Chapter 3 : Compromise Class-
[In seconds, the entire croo bolt for Quentin's office. Siegfried calmly walks to the door.]
Siegfried : "Who is it?"
Gaz : "ROOD's OPEN THIS DOOR YOU BUNCH OF UNSAFE HOMIES!!"
Quentin : "Tarquin, get in the office. If i see Partario his text speaking arse won’t see another Physics lecture..."
[The door is opened a crack, immediately a massive jet of water rushes past Richard, who feels the coolness in the air as the water sails into the server of the Croo's computers]
Siegfried "Quentin, get them out of here!"
[As Richard dives into the office, Quentin slams the door, a second blast of water splashing into the frosted glass of the door. He ushers them out of a backdoor, where they split up. Richard runs back to his dorm, hoping to get an email out to TSGOF about the compromise of security.]
Partario : "Hi tark."
Richard : "What are you doing here?"
Partario : "lol i waz opin 2 c 1 of u lot cos i av to gve you dis."
[Partario hands Richard a card. Written on one side is "WE IZ GONNA OWN YOUR NOOB ASSES IN AN EVENIN' MASSACAR INNIT 730 - LATE BE DARE AND DIE (Light lunch and buffet provided)"]
Richard : "Get out of here traitor."
[Partario smirks and walks off.]
[In his dorm, Richard conducts his routine check for bombs and contact poison, before clicking the screensaver off of his laptop. The web still functions, as does his MSN and Email accounts. He signs on to his MSN account, and sees two contacts online : DickyBod http://dickybod.blogspot.com, and Quentin@htmlcroo.com. He double-clicks Quentin's name, and begins to type.]
Richard : "Heard of this Evening Massacre?"
Quentin : "Hold on, let me add someone..."
Richard : "10-4"
I HATE DA CROO has been added to the conversation
Alexandra : "Hi ho Tarkers :D"
Richard : "Hi. What’s happening regarding the Massacre"
Alexandra : "It's already been officially listed on the site as a Grudge Match, so no outside help can be listed in. TSGOF can still participate, since we're a registered sister wing of your guild, but that means the Rood's can do the same"
Richard : "Meaning...?"
Quentin : "While we could draft the help of TSGOF, that would allow the Rood's to utilise their brother and sister guilds, and we'd be outnumbered. The best odds we could get is if we went it alone."
Richard : "Hm... How's the English room?"
Quentin : "Dry, and the waterproofing of the server and computers helped stop any damage to our communications. Guys i must be off, i have a Physics lecture in 10"
Richard : "10-4"
Alexandra : "Bye de bye"
Quentin : "Oh, Tarquin, get to the room when you can, Cuthbert may have something very useful for you."
Alexandra : "Ok, GOODBYE NOW!!!"
Quentin@htmlcroo.com has left the conversation
Alexandra : "Don't go"
Richard : "Why, Cuthbert’s not that bad, unless you let him talk..."
Alexandra : "No, you primitive male, to the Massacre!"
Richard : "What? Why?"
Alexandra : "Have you ever seen the write-ups of any rood's guild fight to date? They're dangerous, and I don't think Quentin knows it."
Richard : "I can't back out now. Watch the site."
-OFFLINE-
-T-B-C-